s a r a h

and i've been thinking.

2006-07-12T17:23:29Z

i am moving to hollywood in just a few short hours.

i am un-showered, un-packed.. and have to leave the house in like ten minutes for whole foods for one last hooo-rah and sign away my 20% discount.

what has my life come to? i don't know, i just don't know. yet.

for all of this, i'm better off without you.

2006-06-28T22:02:01Z

last night i quit my job.
i'm not 100% confident in that move.. but i suppose i could not wait.
the last couple of weeks i've been doing quite well maintaining my anti-social kick. and work.. has had my mind bored and turning to mush. i don't know what it really comes down to as the blame, but it's away from me.

i got a phone call yesterday... i don't know what the fuck i'm doing with myself.

i'm moving to hollywood, right off of sunset, in the hills. it should be pretty neat. i get 1,000 dollars to decorate my living area, and then i'm going to be an assistant and do real life things.. and meet people who do things. yea.

i'm afraid. more so that my heart will be sad more than anything.

i'm keeping my apartment for two months, just in case.. just in case i need an immediate 'out'. maybe i'll just keep my apartment on the side for longer.. have a place in thousand oaks and a place in l.a.. sounds like a contemplation. meh. least of my thoughts.

in petty news, i took the splotch out of my hair.. and now have two different shades of brown and some black consuming my hair.. i like it.. but i just might want some blonde in it. do i feeel motivated? hm.

so, pretty much. i'm scared. doing another 180' with my life, this time for no pressing reason other than to get ahead. wish me luck and pray your heart out. oh yes.

sell you beautiful.

2006-06-09T08:22:59Z

bah.

yonatan has left.. for a year, my heart aches.
tonite, i went out to eat with jonatahan, cause he is possibly moving to calorado.. when who the fuck do i see??? michael. my michael.
i felt sick for a moment at first, then i felt like i was doing chaps afterwards. i can't even phathom seeing him.. and how i had become immune to the thought.

life is.. like a rollercoaster, but more like the ridem, scream? at magic mountain. yes.. that is accurate, i think. but all enjoyable.. right? right. lying seems apporpriate.

who's house are you haunting tonight?

2006-05-02T03:16:00Z

Body: WHAT'S YOUR:
-> ringtone: train in vain - the clash.
-> middle name: beth.
-> sign: sagitarius.
-> heritage: finnish & itatlian.
-> pets name: plant-iee. (it's a plant.)
-> crush: the greatest i know.

WHAT COLOR:
-> is your hair: brown with blonde splotch.
-> are your eyes: brown.
-> are your nails: naked.
-> is your shirt: brown with white & red screen print.

RIGHT NOW:
-> the closest thing to your left hand: my journal.
-> what's in your pockets: a blue pen.
-> are you hungry: not particularly.
-> are you thirsty: no, i'm chewing gum.. it suffices.
-> what are you sitting on: top of the line, computer chair.
-> where are you: in my living room.
-> is the light on: yes.
-> song listening to: bwahaha.. under the influence of giants.

ONE OR THE OTHER:
-> cookies or candy: watermelon flavored candy.
-> kiss or hug: kiss.
-> school or work: work.
-> apple or banana: banana.
-> shower or bath: shower.
-> cingular or verizon: cingular.
-> ps2 or xbox: i utalize neither.
-> whipped cream or cherries: cherries.

FAVORITE:
-> animal: i like tim's dog, bruno. he reminds me of my love.
-> coin: of gold.
-> pokemon: i just can't decide.

RANDOM:
-> what do you wish you were doing right now: lying at the beach with my best people.
-> what's the last thing you bought: avacado and hummus.
-> are you wearing a belt: oh, no.

LAST
-> drink: water.
-> song you played: oh lately it's so quiet - okgo.
-> meal: a bowl of organic honey puffs and soy milk.
-> words you said: i sang what i said.. i'm talking about lyrics, my dear.
-> word typed: dear.
-> place you went: upstairs.
-> person you thought about: greg.
-> dollar you spent: actual cash?? it went towards watermelon pop rocks.

----------------------------------

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? "i need to do my hair."

2. When is the next time you will have sex? i just don't know.

3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR"? stringbean.

4. Favorite planet? captain planet.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile? timm.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? the clash.

7. What shirt are you wearing? rx bandits - sell you beautiful.

8. Do you "label" yourself? squallor. with the tag, out.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing? my feet.

10. Bright or Dark Room? dark.

11. What do you think about the person who made this survey?
i don't know them, but they must've been pretty f-ing bored.

12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
reading about nick lachey's current life through rolling stone's reporting and talking to my roomie.

13. What did your last text message you recieved say?
it was an invitation for lunch today.

15. Where is your letter box?
under nicole's alias.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
i don't think i pay attention to myself that much.

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
wesley :)

18. Last furry thing you touched?
umm, someone's pet .

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
i don't think i've done any.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? two.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
my current.

22. Your worst enemy?
i don't like that, rosina nesbitt lady.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
some sweet graffiti, stolen from blakie's facebook collection.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
okae, yey. bye.

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly? i'd flyyyyyyyyyyy.

26. Do you like someone?
i like.

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, would u jump in front of the bullet for them?
yes indeed, i like my jessica.

29. If you could punch one person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be?
a self-centered biatch, who shall remain name-less.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
a hello kitty squishy thing.

give me a stringbean, man

2006-05-01T16:04:24Z

today is my second year in california.

it makes me happy to know as a person, i'm real now. i am not as lost as i felt when i arrived. oh yes.

my best friends are the best things to ever happen to me.. i am blessed ten fold, every day of my life.

i miss my michigan lovers and friends, and yet still, nothing could compare to the life i have led out on the coast. happiness consumes me with just the thought of it.. and even more so when i look through the window and see endless beauty every day of my life.

don't you take it personal

2006-04-21T22:27:33Z

Quickie:
Today is a community-oriented day. Get involved with helping the people around you.

Overview:
It's almost funny what happens when someone reveals what they really feel about a certain situation. If this comes under the heading of insoluble problems, agree to pretend that it never happened.

that was my horoscope for the day.. just another example of why yahoo horoscopes are just pretty much ridiculous. and by ridiculous i mean true.

i have happiness.. and this is good. i decided to forget about getting my prescription re-filled.. for the time being anyhow. but yea.

i also got a new tattoo on wednesday as a result of boredom and stupidity in high school. yes.

i love my friends.. always. because i am blessed.

i like the pain that comes out at night.. everybody dance, everybody feel right.

2006-04-08T03:15:13Z

i am listening to, under the influence... enjoyable. though i am not amused with the change of mama's room in the least..
anyways. i'm back from my ventures in michigan. - i had much fun. though there is never enough time to resume the life you used to live with friends in only a few alotted hours. dammit.
my luggage was a day behind me in getting to cali.. not that sweet. i met a boy in cininatti, but he lives here. he likes me - and i feel bad, cause things are going swimmingly with my p.r. now that i'm back.
bah.
i'm going to share a room with a boy.
i lost my phone. i have no fucking idea where it is!!!! i sob tears.

amber gives me preasents of love that get me through my days..

i'm anxious for something i don't even know what i'm anxious for. fuck me.

delicateprocess @ 2006-03-11T17:01:00

2006-03-12T01:14:08Z

current juncture:

i have once again resorted to escaping my thoughts onto the internet. there is just simply too much going on in my head to do anything else.. mostly because all of my 'overwhelming' issues are petty and shouldn't waste human conversation.

anyways - first and foremost, my face is swollen. well, only half of it. great. and my neck.. i look like that little girl you see in the previews for, the hills have eyes.. or something. it's fucked up.. and hurts, sometimes. i hope it goes away soon. my friend told me to stop drinking and consuming vitamin c - i guess i'm o.ding on it.. seems like confusion to me.
i hate toys'r'us. i hate red colored shirts and walkie-talkies. i hate obnoxious teenagers, or pretty much any highschool who steps into the store. and i hate that i am going to be there for the rest of the evening.
i'm annoyed with the fact that i finally found a guy i like.. or at least think i do.. but i only think. i think that he likes me, but then.. i think he really doesn't. and that ordeal is holding me up from spending time with the guy 2, who i 'currently' like, who i am considering bailing on tonite, so i can try and figure out if i really do like guy 1.
in two weeks, i'll be in michigan. fucking yea. i'll be colder than an icicle, but i will be with my favorite people. hooray.
sometimes i add myspace friends just so i can listen to konstantine.. ha. and really.. it only happened once.

and i said," did you know i miss you? did you know i miss you? did you know i miss you? did you i miss you? did you know i miss you? did you know i miss you? i miss you."

delicateprocess @ 2006-02-05T07:52:00

2006-02-05T15:53:49Z

yesterday a homeless woman told me i looked pretty in pink.

and i see no bravery..

2006-01-09T05:21:10Z

1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
my left knee: ate mad shit skating down the hill with a pizza.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
bulletin board with pictures, poster prints.. collage and mirror.

3. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
sliver samsung.. water-logged, cracked, scraped, scratched.. barely hanging on.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
pretty music.. james blunt, ben harper, jack johnson, damien rice. fun music.. under the influence of giants, the faint, mindless self indulgence, kayne west. and gooood music.. minus the bear, afi, against me! tooooooooo many to ever list.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
well, i might. but my mother doesn't even know the day.. so it tends to be slightly confusing at times.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
some from my' homie :]

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
my best friends ever.

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
my pictures, all of them.

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELLS?
some purple, p-p-p-urple kush.
fizzy pop.

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
if your people space is in my people space, then, yes.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
no. but i do get scared of, 'are you afraid of the dark?'

12. FAVORITE MOVIE?
american beauty.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
gorgio armani (cologne) / escada (perfume)

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE PREFFERED SEX?
dark.. and preferably facial scruff.

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
i can't see the clock clearly from across the room - proposels are much farther away.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
holly hooked me to coffee.. on occasion.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
extra mushrooms - minus cheese.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
vegan browine, medicated.

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
mark, holly's mark. >:[

20. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
negative.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE PREFERRED SEX)?
a home-made book/letter.. ray allen cards and all.

22. WHAT IS THE LAST GIFT YOU WERE GIVEN?
a key.

23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CITY?
los angeles.

24. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?
110%.

25. WHATS THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING YOU BOUGHT?
my education.

26. HAVE YOU EVER WON A CONTEST?
yes. a family portrait from the county fair when i was in 3rd grade.

27. DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
hell no.

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
i have never fallen in love, i can't tell you much about that.

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
with your mouth..

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
(shouldn't i have been told to type it as well?)

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
brownnnette.

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
locksmith.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
blah blah blah blah <- with no escape.

33. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE U.S.?
canada.

34. WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS?
i can bench an 86 year old man.

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
acoustic and stuff.

36. FIRST LOVE?
nick levoy.

37. FIRST JOB?
crystal drive-in.. car hop.

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
i was a bystander in sixth grade. sorry ann burke.

39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
drinking some juice.

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
ewwwwww.. flesh cutting.. ewwwwww.

41. WHY ARE YOU FILLING OUT THIS SURVEY?
because i am fresh from work, doing my internet rounds.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
my lips.

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
umm. listen to alot of bitching i suppose.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
it is now too far away to ponder upon.

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
zero.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
my mother's adoptive grandmother, touching.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
no.. you think you can just go around wasting potential wishes like that?!

48. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE FINGER?
in the future it had better be my left ring finger.

49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
last month.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
meh - it abides by my o.c.d complex.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
ew.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
delay of laundry cleaning.

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
motion city soundtrack. (it could be a million times worse, i actually like them)

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
i never will be another person, so it does not matter.

55. BOXERS OR BRIEFS?
briefs.

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
indeed.

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
art.

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
work?

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
of course not.. people are fucked.

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
n/a.. i've blocked my childhood out.

61. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TOY NOW?
my moonshoes!!

62. DO YOU COOK?
i make food. less elegant than cooking, yet, not as unrefined as microwave-ing.

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
neva'.

64. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
psh. when was the last time i passed one up??

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
height.. style.. flow.

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
michigan.

67. WHAT DONT YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF?
insomina.

68. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
ha.

69. DO YOU BRUSH AND FLOSS BEFORE BED?
yes'm.

70. WHATS THE MOST YOUD PAY FOR A HAIRCUT?
umm. the most i've paid was $100ish + tip.

71. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
chunky mint maddness/ soy delicious.

72. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?
green, grey, maroon.

73. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
one.

74. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
i miss, not missing.

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
yes. everyone in the whole wide world.. everyone. everyone, those poor children who don't have money for new shoes, i hope they find a computer with internet access.. and are able to answer these questions..

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
no bravery / james blunt

77. LAST THING YOU ATE?
spanish rice.

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
jen.

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE PREFERRED SEX?
vertical stance.

80. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
in a hospital, located in lake forest, il.

81. SCARIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
oh.. just my life being ripped out from underneath me on a healthy once a year average.

82. FAVORITE DRINK?
cran-mango oceanspray juice.

83. FAVORITE JOKE?
??what's green and has 32 wheels??

84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT?
TO PLAY: soccer.
TO WATCH: basketball.

85. HAIR COLOR?
mine? brown, with black.. and blonde splotch.

86. EYE COLOR?
light brown.

87. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
perscription glasses to see. (but they're broken).
sunglasses are on my face everyday.

88. SIBLINGS?
i have a collection.

89. FAVORITE MONTH?
june.

90. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
do you like raw kitten flesh?

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
holly get a glass of water in the middle of the night.. big hair `truly outrageous!'.

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
december 23.

93. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
no. but i don't.

94. SUMMER OR WINTER?
summer.. all year :]

95. KISSES OR HUGS?
a kiss that engulfs the body so passionatly that you are forced to fall into a hug stance.

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE-NIGHT STANDS?
relationships.. "i'm a puppet not a whore."

97. WHO DO YOU SECRETLY LOVE?
people who proclaim secrets to myspace.

98. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU MACKED IT WITH IN THE PAST YEAR?
EEEEEEeeeeee year? fourteen, memorable.

99. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
bible, house of leaves, the little friend.

100. WHERE DO YOU WORK?
the best toy store in town.. plus i make pizza pies.

won't you be a friend of mine to remind me what is real?

2006-01-06T16:46:50Z

i just found my lost delaney keychain. it makes me happy.

i have a new boy. and i think this one will keep my attention for a little while. :]

james blunt makes my heart sadden, in the good way. . beacuse i need something to cover the missing.

without you there's no me

2005-12-29T10:21:04Z

blake just left.
the last time i shall see him until the end of june, unless perhaps i find myself in london or there abouts in that time. oi. missing that kid.. absorbing, still, the brilliant conversations about the moon shoe lifestyle and such. pretty much love blakie.
he brought up michael moving to new york. bah. make me sad.
mc was supposed to go to new york today but until tomorrow he's stuck here in l.a.. and then has to go straight to jamaca, then to london. so i will not get to see him again until the end of january. :(

alas, tomorrow i get to see chris.
prior to i will have ran.
hopefully make a deal with the cingular store.
have me some coffee.
then i have to work.
then maybe a movie with nicole.
i might clean my rooooom/closet.

i missssssss my life sometimes. and by my life, i mean my best friend.. and by sometimes, i mean alot.

memories like artifacts attacked yet still intact

2005-12-24T09:06:43Z

last night made me happy. seeing mC was beneficial to my pocketbook.. and medical investments.
today i was productive and conquered my laundry. had a lovely time with chris, who is adorable..oi.
made a delicious tofu mushroom and black bean salad for dinner, worked and then came home.
i found partcial of mC's gift for me, twenty dollars i thought was gone and a step-brother i once had. or rather, he found me. kinda a nice heartwarming moment for the holidays..

working all day tomorrow.. and am starting my day in a few hours, pleh. neeeeed to go to bed.

and if the bathtub hasn't dropped through the celing by then.. well, i'll be impressed.. and pleased.
i'm concered with the current situation of consistant drips that seem to be increasing and coming from a crack.. suspicious.

when I feel you by my side, yes, I'm flying like a kite

2005-12-20T02:38:38Z

birthday for me.
holly picked me up from work, blessed by the glorious sounds of davey havok. :) went and got me some money.. then i bought some alcohol. which was fun and exciting. i was give five dollars and free alcohol.
then taco bell.. which is tastey, ecspecially with sparks.
wonderful, perhaps perfect gift from holly. watermelon, chai tea, my own starbucks in my house, mwhahaha.
i should go and get pretty, since we are having fun tonite!!

feel the breeze blow by.. yo i'm getting' you high

2005-12-13T09:08:57Z

cute boy came over last night. smoked and kicked it. i'm excited for my birthday gift from him, i enjoy having adorable lance for my neighbor.. very much so.
in news of my matisyahu love, liza informed me that i had the pleasure of a live performance from him this summer while i was in attendance of bonnaroo, too bad i was on drugs and my recloection is vauge... but there is recolection!
today i got to sleep in for a while.
then after some coffee and grooming, i ventured to the pharmacy. it was grand to see muh' homies again... and will be even better when mC attends my party. happinesss to see soo much herbal and free gram days are awesome as well.
came back just in time for work, saw some friends. then we arranged our room.. and my beloved yonatan stopped by for a long while. we had ourselves some mango kush and madlibs. holly was confused on plural nouns.. i think yoni was too, but then i was confused because they were confused... haha. yes.
well. work tomorrow.. but not till ten. sleeping in.. until the sound rush of niagra falls in our bathroom pipes greets me early before the sun.

you want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow

2005-12-11T00:41:15Z

mmmmmmmhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm. it's been long months since i have expent any energy into this journal.
anyhow.. here is how i feel at this moment.
i keep mistaking my shoes for beloved violet out of the corner of my eye.. it's been like.. 30 minutes since i've been home from work.. and i'm already going through withdrawls, gee, it'll sure be hard to let go of the kitty litter flicked all over the downstairs bathroom, or that jingling of her collar-bell that i swear i hear right now. anyways..
i hope that the cute boy is working with me tonite, that would make me happy.. and avoiding teenage boys on bicycles on the way home today would make me happy tooo, stupid make-me-almost-eat-shit moment about 45 minutes ago.
holly is gone, so i get my very own room tonite, mwhahahahaaa.
thanks to blakie, i'm currently obsessed with matisyahu. and.. by currently, i mean this morning it started.. and it's still going strong by 4:36.
alright. have to go get ready for work, again! Ooooo, impressive.. i'm off to multi-task.

i want to stand up, i want to let go

2005-09-16T00:18:30Z

vegas.

what happens in vegas stays in vegas.. only if you stay in vegas.
i don't like cars that shake. i don't like lack of medication.

i love my friends. i like hot boys with hawks and un-seen sleeves.

once again, i can't wait to be home, in muh' room.

deuce.

i'll see you tonight

2005-08-27T14:40:54Z

i can't wait to step my little converse back on to the concrete of los angeles...

that's when muh' michael is picking me up and bringing me home.

it's only a matter of hours now.

you never feel quite the same

2005-08-25T20:49:25Z

tomorrow i leave.. i'm relieved, but indifferent about it at the same time.
perhaps it's because everything that i came back here for has happened. i'm happy for that.
i can't wait to get back to my life, this was a lovely break from it all.. but alas, there is nothing good coming from being here any longer.
i dislike the u.s mail, taking four days to transfer items to me.
i don't want to sit in a car all day tomorrow and then on a plane and in airports for saturday. at least there might be some fun to be had down in long beach when i return.. i haven't been to a show since the night before i left, it'll be nice to do something other than pretend i'm living in the nineteenth century.

through the foreign fields watch me fade away

2005-08-22T18:42:41Z

i have been in crystal for more than a week.. it seems like there is nothing outside of main street besides trees, trees, trees..

i've seen everyone i have wanted to see, or thought i did. and life is getting too monotonous for my liking. on top of that, it's cold here, i thought i had frost bite this morning when i woke up it was soo cold.. i was forced to sleep forever yesterday because once i wrapped up in my blanket i was unable to do anything that would require such things as mittens and perhaps a parka, like reading a book.

on the entertainment scene, i went to a party in the middle of nowhere the other night. the night was well for people watching, analyzing.. that was about it. i have tons of mosquito bites all over. and on a good note, i am on a friendly level with one of the few people i have ever detested for years. friendly enough to where he bought me lunch and took me to the fair... to watch cars crash into eachother. ha. there was nothing else to do with our evening, unfortunate.

this morning michael called, it made me very happy. since then i have been having a good day, reasons unknown. i sure can't wait to be back home.. less than a week.

i'm cutting the string that binds me to you

2005-08-10T17:08:02Z

in minnesota i remain for the next couple of hours. i have only been here about three days and yet it feels like weeks.. heh. nina has been my lovely lad. much fun has been had in minneapolis. new skirts and sunglasses. a friend for bonnie and some medication.

later today i'll be going back to crystal falls. ha. what a thought, what a sad a lingering eerie thought. and yet, it was all so voluntary. i'm pleased the wedding i had come to see has been canceled, due to morals that seem to be lacking.

bah....... bored. i went and saw, march of the penguins, yesterday. i sure enjoyed that.. a bunch. i want to see it again, but of course i'll hold out until it's released for the viewing pleasure of my home.

addicted to, under the influence of giants, though, who could blame me.

hopefully i receive my package from gina this week.. it'd make me smile. and assumingly giggle as well. until then, i'm going to pretend my cousin is just way cool. w3rd.

time and time and time we see

2005-07-23T00:08:51Z

i have a life, which lacks internet addiction. that in return makes for a boring lj.. meh..

i get to see muh family soon... and i mean pretty much every living member, on both sides.
no reunion, just lots of traveling. that should a slightly enjoyable, taking single week doses of each will help. old friends from days forgotten will be much in the itinerary as well.

i was all stoaked on seeing wonka on opening day because of sarah's golden ticket.. but just ended up going to the amc later that night to check it anyways.. and then find out that i get to see it again tonight.. for free! with some free edibles.. mmmmmmmmmmm. free. to top it off.. talking to my mother for the first time in months, i would not think that we would be discussing northernlights x skunk #2.. what a world.

yesterday i went to pay my cell phone bill, which was actually a mission. i had to go to three different cingular stores, finally get down to ventura and the addresses are all fucked up.. so i skated around looking for the building for 20 minutes in 105+ weather yesterday... it's a good thing i hadn't parked only a block away to start, right? just kidding.. i did. i can't see giant signs on giant buildings i guess.

amber came to kick it for the weekend not long ago, a trip down to ucsd made it all possible. it was all much fun. a little treez4beez in the house. haha. detroit and cali trips always seem better when kicking it with her.
i talked to my friend from 5th grade today, going to see her in a month or two in vegas.. crazy how random life can be. and then how random it isn't all at once.
and my beloved cassandra will be here next weekend.. roadtrips in u-hauls seem more logical these days.

i love all my friends soooooo very much.. i <3 michael extra. i miss liza. and i lost delaney, fearing it may be for forever. God, i hope not.. if you find her.. bring her to me, cause i love that girl... though either way, life's a going.. and it's going good.

in this moment

2005-06-29T16:37:50Z

it's been soo long.

so long that now, i'm bff with the elliot project. i <3 bryant more than anyone in the world.
michigan was splendid, as was bonnaroo. well, bonnaroo was probably just one of the best experiences of my life.. liza, blake, the volta, jack johnson, xavier rudd.. well, i'd recite more goodness, but i'd be going on forever. i made ten dollars at the airport, someone thought i was homeless.
vacation week was super fun.
blake is back home for the summer, excitement. lunch dates to santa fe' are more than enjoyable.
did i mention i went to the zoo? it was fan-tastic. ha.

nothing much is going on currently.
i spend my days with kids i love.

the boy from the store gave me his number, i don't call boys. i gave him mine in return. all i ask for in return is a great hook-up. i mean with purchase, not him.

yesterday i spent a whole bunch with michael, kicked it with angelina in the pool, garaged it with gina, went on a super krew adventure and a bunch of other things.

warped is sunday. assumingly i will be there.

still i'm one to testify

2005-05-25T15:19:41Z

i <3 the elliot project.

i get to see the elliot project..

tonite.

happiness consumes me.

God knows i'll skip the preview

2005-05-24T17:19:34Z

only forced to watch this show a couple of times.. i feel that these are the words i was searching for all along..

Just when you thought MTV couldn't get more annoying, they give Cameron Diaz her own show called "Trippin'" :

Note that the name of the show is "Trippin'" and not "Tripping" because the addition of the letter "g" would not be consistent with the views of MTV's urban youth demographic who tend to frown upon linguistic formalities such as proper enunciation. I mean, proper 'nunciation, yo!
The theme song states "YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE... YOU GOT THE POWER TO MAKE A CHANGE." Wow, thank you MTV, for making me feel empowered and independent, like only a multinational media conglomerate can. Then just when you think you're going to have high blood pressure (permanently), Diaz chimes in with her first person narrative to seal the deal: I wanted to show everyone how beautiful this planet is and how we're all connected to it... I wanted to travel with my friends to places that are in danger of being ruined...

I hate Cameron Diaz. I remember hearing about how she broke her nose while surfing two years ago. That was the happiest day of my life.
I don't know her, yet I know enough miscellaneous bullshit about her to fill a book. For example, why do I know that Cameron Diaz is dating Justin Timberlake? I don't watch much TV, I rarely listen to the radio, and I avoid celebrity gossip like rape, yet I know the names of the last two guys she humped with that canyonesque twat of hers.
Then as if Cameron Diaz wasn't annoying enough, she brought her "friends" along. In particular, notable environmental activists such as Eva Mendez, rapper "Redman," Drew Barrymore, Jessica Alba, and Blink 182 bass player Mark Hoppus, seen here with a shit-eating grin:

At one point in the show they go to a village made of shit (literally, cow shit) and Diaz calls it "beautiful" and "inspiring." Yeah, just not beautiful and inspiring enough to give up any of the three mansions you own, right you disingenuous bitch?
Every time she opens her gaping mouth, she spews more self-righteous bullshit all over the place. One of my favorite lines is when she says "it's kind of gotten out of hand how much of a convenience we think we need." Diaz, who makes around $20 million per picture and drives a Lexus, was able to say this with a straight face. What the hell is that supposed to mean, "convenience we think we need"? We don't need it asshole, we want it. I like being able to get hot water, hot food, and hot porn whenever I want. Just as soon as you give up your mansion and live in a shit hut with your multi-millionaire boyfriend, we might give a shit about your criticism of the modern conveniences.

When Diaz isn't giggling like an idiot or imparting us with dubious knowledge, Eva Mendez takes the opportunity to fire off her shit cannon:

Village Girl: Hi, my name is Krishna
Eva Mendez: How old are you?
Village Girl: 15.
Eva Mendez: 15? Wow!
Wow indeed, Eva. Way to patronize people in their own country, you stupid cow. Not to be outdone, Drew Barrymore has this to say in another episode: "it was so intense with the loving, feeling, and the tree touching, and the learning." Idiot.
Then as if the crew felt that they weren't being condescending enough, they keep saying "I can't believe how far away we are, we're in the middle of nowhere." Yeah, I'm sure citizens of Bhutan and Honduras appreciate being told that they live "nowhere."
Of course, having a show in which the hosts prattle on and on about conservation and environmental causes, it makes you wonder how they're able to do it without sounding like giant hypocrites as they fly around on helicopters and jets, all while using enough electricity to power a small city. Simply put: they can't, but that doesn't stop them from trying.
The way they try to avoid this nagging ideological contradiction is by stating: "Trippin' has offset all the pollution created from energy use in making the show, to ensure that it would not contribute to global warming." They supposedly do this by buying "clean air credits." Great idea assholes, so instead of owning up to your shitty ideals and not polluting, you pay someone else not to pollute. Maybe we should all try to pay someone off every time we want to do something that might inconvenience us. I was going to go on a diet, but it's too hard, so I'm going to pay someone else to diet for me. I was going to do a show about community service, but doing the actual work was too inconvenient, so I'm going to pay someone to do it for me. Eat shit you elitist morons.

(maddox.xmission.com)